Your First Steps to Getting Good with Money
Can I be vulnerable with you? We talk a lot about the importance of discussing money, but many of us don’t want anyone to know the financial mistakes we’ve made. In fact, nearly 50% of Americans feel too embarrassed to talk about their finances, even though 77% admit they have financial regrets—from overspending on credit cards to not saving enough for the future. I’m pretty sure everyone has made at least a few money decisions they wish they could take back. But what if sharing those mistakes could actually help someone else? Research shows that talking about financial missteps reduces shame and leads to better financial habits. Sometimes, we simply don’t know what we don’t know. Imagine if we each took a turn telling a financial success story that was the result of failure.
Sometimes, we don’t recognize our financial blind spots until we’re forced to confront them. I once thought I was pretty good with money—until I wasn’t. Like many people, I assumed that earning a paycheck and paying my bills meant I had a good understanding of financial literacy. In fact, 57% of U.S. adults say they are financially literate, yet only 37% can correctly answer basic financial questions. In my 20’s and 30’s, money came in, money went out, and at the end of the day, I found a way to make ends meet. But managing cash flow isn’t the same as building financial security. It all hit me when I realized how little I truly understood about managing finances, despite my best intentions.
My wake-up call wasn’t just one moment—it was a series of mistakes that left me drowning in $36,000 of credit card debt, stuck with a 120% mortgage loan on a gutted house, and owing $7,000 on a minivan with mechanical issues. My situation was far from unique—the average American carries over $6,000 in credit card debt, and nearly two-thirds of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes my checking account had a balance, and sometimes it didn’t. There was even a time when digging for loose change in the couch cushions was the difference between putting gas in the car and staying home. That humbling reality marked the beginning of my financial journey—a journey of discovery, testing strategies, and learning from mistakes.
Over the years, I’ve not only paid off all that daunting debt but have also built a life of financial freedom—freedom from debt, a solid emergency fund, growing retirement savings, and ongoing financial goals that keep me moving forward. My 30-year-old self would have never imagined this kind of stability. I share this not to brag—honestly, it’s a little embarrassing to admit where I started—but to reflect on a journey that was far from perfect. It wasn’t easy, and there were plenty of missteps along the way. But looking back, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made and grateful for the financial stability I once thought was out of reach. This journey also fuels my passion for financial literacy education.
The Journey to Financial Freedom: From Struggle to Stability
I vividly remember having so many maxed-out credit cards and so much debt that spending a little more didn't seem to matter. I was already so deep in debt that another $100 felt insignificant. I had become numb to the negative consequences of my financial choices. Instead of taking responsibility, I made excuses—blaming circumstances, convincing myself that debt was just part of life, and truly believing that everyone lived this way. I wanted to provide for my kids, to make sure they had everything other children had. In my mind, taking on substantial debt was simply the cost of having a great life.
That mindset had to change. I had to be honest with myself and understand the psychology behind my money mindset. And I wasn’t alone in this struggle. Studies show that 43% of Americans spend more than they earn, and nearly 40% of people with credit card debt report feeling overwhelmed by it. Research on financial behavior highlights how emotions, habits, and learned beliefs shape our spending—often leading people to justify overspending or avoid dealing with debt altogether.
I hit a breaking point when I found myself staring at a bank account that had more overdraft fees than dollars in it, a pile of bills I couldn't pay, and maxed-out credit cards that left me with zero options. I realized I had been living in a cycle of financial survival, not stability. The stress was unbearable, and I knew something had to change. That moment—the crushing realization that I was completely out of control financially—was my wake-up call.
That wake-up call marked the beginning of my financial transformation.
I started by educating myself—reading books and seeking advice from people who had successfully managed their money. But the defining moment, the true turning point, came when a trusted friend gave me a simple but powerful challenge: Write down every single item I spent money on. Everything—groceries, gas, snacks from a vending machine, coffee on the way to work. Every single dollar had to be accounted for.
At first, I didn’t fully grasp the significance of the exercise. I quickly realized that my friend had created a sense of accountability, pushing me to truly confront my spending habits. Writing everything down forced me to be brutally honest with myself—honest about where my money was going, honest about my spending habits, and honest about how much was being wasted. That honesty allowed me to step back and see my finances objectively. It helped me identify what I truly valued—and where I could cut costs by not spending on things that didn’t align with those values.
Steps to Getting Good with Money
If you’re looking to take control of your finances, here are the steps that helped me:
Be honest with yourself!
Establish money goals.
Create a budget.
Make saving automatic.
Boost your credit score.
Use your credit score to leverage better loan rates.
Protect your assets.
Invest in your retirement.
Does that sound simple or overwhelming to you? Either way, I can assure you that with the right mindset and resources, you can achieve financial wellness.
Forbes defines financial wellness as: a relative measure of how well a person manages their financial life. Improving financial wellness means practicing better money habits, setting goals, and taking steps to achieve them—all with the aim of improving your overall quality of life.
Of all the steps listed, I truly believe the first one—being honest with yourself—is the most important. It sounds easy, even a little silly, but the truth is many of us avoid taking a good, hard look at our financial situation, belief systems, and habits. Maybe it’s because we think it’s unnecessary, or maybe it’s because we’re afraid of what we might find. But honesty is the foundation for building a better financial future.
The Power of Trade-Offs
Once you've tracked your spending, it's time to reflect. Are there areas where your spending doesn’t align with your values? For me, it was small, daily expenses that felt insignificant at the time but added up in a big way. When I actually did the math, I realized the trade-off wasn’t worth it. Spending just $5 a day on impulse purchases—whether it was a snack, a quick drive-thru meal, or a cup of coffee—added up to $1,825 per year. Over 20 years, that’s $36,500. Research shows that small, habitual expenses can accumulate significantly over time. Redirecting just $5 per day into an investment earning an average annual return of 7% could grow to nearly $75,000 in 20 years—without any extra effort beyond changing spending habits.
Now, maybe those little purchases genuinely bring you joy, and that’s okay. The point isn’t to eliminate all spending—it’s about being intentional. Look through your spending list and ask yourself: Is this worth giving up my hard-earned money? Is this expense helping or hindering my financial goals?
The key is to identify trade-offs that make sense for you. A simple shift in spending habits today could set you up for financial freedom in the future.
Everyday Decisions Shape Your Future
Every day, we face financial decisions. There’s always something or someone trying to separate us from our money. Being honest with yourself allows you to make those decisions objectively and ensures your spending aligns with your goals.
For me, realizing that I was spending money for the wrong reasons—out of habit, stress, or competition—was a turning point. It gave me the motivation to change my mindset and my habits. Those changes weren’t always easy, but the empowerment and freedom I gained were well worth it.
A Challenge for You
Even if you’re already a well-established professional, a savvy investor, or simply someone who feels confident with money, I challenge you to take my two-week spending challenge. Write down every single purchase you make, analyze it, and see what you learn about your financial decisions.
Self-reflection is a powerful tool. It can provide the wisdom and determination you need to improve your financial wellness. And who knows? It might even reveal opportunities for growth you hadn’t considered before.
Your journey to financial wellness begins with honesty. Start today and see where it takes you.